Overwhelmed.....

So I've kept a journal from the time I was 10. I wrote in it more or less faithfully until about 4 years ago. The last four years, it is all I can do to keep things together, let alone make time for musings. Life fills up and overflows, just the detritus of daily living, chores, errands, must-dos, chauffeuring, organizing, work, parenting, and just being less efficient and energetic as I get older.

But here I am, after a multi-year hiatus, trying again to start a blog as a means of expression, contemplation, and perhaps connecting with a reader or two.

My son with Aspergers and Selective Mutism (not officially diagnosed with mutism but it does seem to fit) is currently enrolled in middle school. He's very handsome, and seems to fly under the radar of most would-be bullies. He gets straight As, is in all honors, but doesn't participate in class, doesn't speak in school, doesn't ask questions when he doesn't understand, barely does homework (in our school, the only thing that is graded is test performance).

So it is hard to know, do we try to remediate the mutism? Do we hope it will go away on its own? Do we increase his 10mg of anti-anxiety meds? He doesn't have a single friend anymore, now that a neighbor moved away. How do you make friends if you won't speak? So perplexing....

He isn't unhappy. He's a sweet boy. He still watches TV shows with me -- this year we've watched Wonderfalls, My So Called Life, Freaks and Geeks, Joan of Arcadia, and currently Smallville. We briefly discuss the characters, what they do, whether something makes sense given their previous characterizations, and so on.

But at some point, won't he want friends? Or am I projecting my own need for companionship on him? I just want him to have the tools at his disposal to make friends should that become a goal of his.....