To homeschool my ASD son or not, that is the question.
If I homeschool him:
1. I can probably keep him off of medication - he is the ONLY ASD child I know who is not on medication. I fully expect he may need it at some point, but for now, isn't that a success?
2. He can learn in a less stressful environment. I can answer the questions about work that he simply would not ask in school.
3. I can provide more controlled opportunities for socialization - although I can never match the regularity of daily exposure to the same kids that public schools provide. But I can provide opportunities that have more potential to be successful with younger kids (specifically, kids who are 2 years or more younger than he is).
4. Our family harmony is more likely to be maintained since he will not be maxed out by the demands of public school - not just academic, but dealing with noisy hallways, schedules, etc...
5. He is more likely to be happier at home than in school. And I think that matters, whether he is happy or not.
This is what other people tell me:
1. He will receive a better education in some areas. Will he? If he is overwhelmed by noise in the classroom, if he can't focus, if he won't ask questions he needs for clarification? I certainly do agree the potential is there for him to get a better education, but is he ready to seize it? If I homeschool middle school, I will use a prepared, accredited curriculum.
2. He will get "socialization". Will he? What does that mean? I've talked to several people with ASD kids in middle school, and they have to deal with bullying and a stressed out child. Only 1 of 7 ASD middle school children I know of actually has friends. The rest don't! What they learn is that they are "weird", "unlikeable", and so on. My son, who is almost 12, plays with 9 year olds well, not 12 year olds. He is immature. But 9 year olds in school think it odd to play with kids not of their age. In the homeschool world, that is not the case.
3. He has to join the real world sometime. Yes he does, and he will. But why not on his terms? Why not when he is ready? He learned to ride a bike in 30 seconds when he was ready at age 8. We spent the summers when he was 5 and 6 trying to teach him and he couldn't learn - but he wasn't ready. We gave up when he was 7, and he completely surprised us one day when he was 8 by getting on a bike and riding it down our driveway.
And here is another thought, what is so "real world" about school? Where else in the real world do you interact only with people your own age? Where else in the real world are people so cliquish? Well, perhaps country clubs, but in general, that fades away...
4. You are sheltering him. I am, in a way, but the thing is, for my son, every single day is a challenge. He is still learning to deal with the minor frustrations of siblings and unexpected plans in an appropriate way. School would provide significant additional frustrations before he has the skills to deal with them, and would likely require him to take medication.
5. He might enjoy it and have fun. He might. That is the one thing that gives me pause, he might like it, it might be good for him. Will he be like the 1 in 7 ASD kids I know of who has friends and likes middle school? Or will he be like the 6 in 7 who do well academically but have no friends, take meds, and explode constantly at home when the meds wear off?
What to do.....
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